It’s funny, because it’s true…

Ten signs that you are a fundamentalist christian. It’s hardly original, having popped up all over the Net, but it gave me a good laugh!

1 – You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when “an intolerant secularist bigot” denies the existence of yours.

2 – You feel insulted and “dehumanised” when scientists say that people evolved, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that some sky-fairy created us from a handful of dirt.

3 – You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

4 – Your face turns purple when you hear of the “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but you don’t even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and even trees!

5 – You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that ‘the Holy Spirit’ impregnated a virgin, who then gave birth to a man-god whose father was happy to see him killed, and who then came back to life and ascended into the sky.

6 – You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

7 – You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs – though excluding those in all rival sects – will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most tolerant, forgiving and loving.

8 – Modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics all fail to convince you that there is no God. Yet some idiot rolling around on the floor “speaking in tongues” is all the evidence you need to “prove” your God exists.

9 – You define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

10 – You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history – but still call yourself a Christian.

The last one is especially important – I am an atheist, precisely because I have a full understanding of the bible. I used to be a born again christian myself, before I woke up!